A Top Hat and a Fag

A couple of years ago I was hired to perform for an 85th birthday party. The birthday boy had been a very prominent high court judge and the party was thrown at his house nestled in a lovely village in the bosom of the home counties.

The judge’s daughters assured me that their octogenarian father was a magic fan but a couple of minutes into the show he nodded off in the corner as I entertained his neighbours and friends. About half way through the act I asked, as I always do, to borrow a pack of cigarettes. This crowd, almost entirely over fifty, did not contain one smoker.

It was a very casual and friendly show. I told my smoke free audience how I had been noticing more and more that my audiences were smoking less and less. I told them that I owned several old magic books that said things like, “Borrow a top hat from a member of the audience…” I mused that maybe in years to come that borrowed cigarette tricks will be as extinct as borrowed top hat tricks.

I was sure the judge was sleeping in the corner but just then he piped up and in the posh-ist of British accents said, “I have a top hat for you – if you want one.”


3 Responses to “A Top Hat and a Fag”

  1. DJ Kirkby Says:

    Brilliant post, best I’ve read all week.

  2. Sue Says:

    as always- got me “lol”ing

  3. I’m glad I’m not a screenwriter. « John Lenahan’s Year of Gratuitous Socks Says:

    […] glad I’m not a screenwriter. I was reminded that the judge in Monday’s post was the father in law of one of my neighbors. Mark is, among other things, a screenwriter. I […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: